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•
Have you ever received an email from a stranger in Africa offering
to share millions of dollars with you just for using your bank account?
• Ever wondered what would happen if you replied?
This is your invitation to join me in...
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Bruce Ferguson
As Shelly Riskin, the well-known Chicago advertising
genius, and my good friend of many years, explained with a grin
when caught kidding or stringing someone along, "I'm just shmoozing
him."
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"I
read 'Shmoozing the Nigerians' while on a plane
enroute to Seattle. I was actually laughing out loud. Fellow
passengers had me reading passages to them. Enclosed are checks
and addresses for a couple who wanted copies of their own.
Put me on the mailing list for your next book."
--
Patricia Ray in Bristol, IL
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"...
[Bruce] Ferguson seems to be on the cutting edge of a counter-attack
against the 419 scam. ... [He] displays a ripe sense of humor
in reporting some of the email exchanges he has fostered with
the Nigerian crooks. ... While humor is a leitmotif of the
book, Ferguson also hopes it will serve as a warning to potential
victims..."
--
Jack Schnedler, Arkansas
Democrat-Gazette, June 24, 2004
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Hello, I'm Bruce Ferguson.
If you, or anyone you know, has ever received a letter or an email
from a Nigerian offering fabulous riches in return for the use of
your bank account as a conduit for transferring huge sums of money
out of Nigeria, you are witness to a world-wide effort to funnel every
dollar, yen, drachma and pound from every country on the globe into
the persuasive hands and yawning pockets of the world's best conman,
the Nigerian.
It started twenty-plus years ago when a poverty stricken Nigerian
church worker saw the potential in an antique mimeograph machine.
In addition to running off church bulletins and appeals for financial
aid, this rascal devised a sideline scam letter in which he posed
as the orphaned son of a murdered tribal chieftain. These letters,
later to be designated "the 419 scam" by Nigerian authorities,
were mailed to a list of Americans provided by an unwitting international
benevolent organization:
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"My
father, Chief Orobundo Kwaziki amassed a fortune in diamonds
from the precious stone fields of the Kalahari. These diamonds
along with $9,000,000 in U.S. denoms are my inheritance. They
are packed in a trunk and deposited in a vault at The Central
Bank of Nigeria. I pray for your help in getting my inheritance
out of Nigeria and will pay you $1,000,000 to guide me through
the transfer from The Central Bank into your account in the
United States."
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When I began receiving such letters I threw them
in the trash, until one day when I impulsively decided to send a
tongue-in-cheek reply. Thus began a series of emails between myself
and an endless procession of Nigerian scammers having exotic names
like Dr.Chidi Sandoz, Madame Rosa Chika, Chief Abram Savimbi, and
Fr. Isama Pollana...
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"I
am positively the man to assist you in liberating the $65,000,000
left to you by your late father, the cocoa maggot and bon
vivant, may he be perched atop a gold-plated camel in paradise.
I will welcome you to America, put my arm around you and lead
you to enrollment in a wonderful school. Even in Nigeria,
you've likely heard of the famous Leavenworth Institution
for Troubled Boys. You will love Leavenworth, Paul. It's located
among the salt air and swaying palms of Leavenworth, Kansas.
Leavenworth has toilets, telephones and TV's in every room.
You will have roommates sure to become intimate friends."
-- Bruce
Ferguson
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Wondering
just how far one could go before the Nigerian con-man caught on
and ceased replying, I penned ever more outrageous half-truths,
fictional fancies and outright lies, once even posing as my non-existent
sister, Mona...
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"Good
Morning, Akeem: My brother is Bruce Ferguson. I use his computer
when he rests from his correspondence with your cousin, Obi,
the barrister. I have no computer of my own. My trailer house
is hardly large enough for myself and the hawgs. I am a 29-year-old
lady of generous proportions. My numbers are 44, 66, and 82.
You may figure out the locations for yourself. Mystery is
good for romance."
-- Mona Mattressback
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My
Nigerian con-men correspondents responded with email letters of
single-minded encouragement, enclosing all sorts of photos and documents
designating me as "official beneficiary" and potential
millionaire.
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Click
image for large view in a new window
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Along
with these documents and promises came requests for Western Union
money orders. This money, explained the Nigerian con-men, was needed
to pay fees, bribes and related expenses in securing the release
of trunks bulging with diamonds, currency, gold bullion, and priceless
artifacts for shipment to me in the United States.
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"Sir
Bruce: Thanks for your able acceptance to help purchase the
ticket for me and Akeem to your house in the states. It is
now confirmed from the travell Agent that the ticket cost
fo us $1,650.00 V.A.T. Inclusive making it us$3,300.00 only
for the two tickets which must be bought from our Departure
region Accra so pls sir. this is how to send the money for
me to pick it and purchase the ticket right away and secure
our delivery date which must be not latter than two days from
now. Send money by Western Union to me at Accra Ghana WU office.
Code Name: doggy-doggy. So hurry now and let keep progressing
Sir.
Regards, Dr. James Obi, Attorney"
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Without
correcting his spelling, I replied...
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"TO:
James Obi: Solicitor
FROM: Bruce Ferguson
Jimmy: $3,300 seems like a lot of money to transport two West
Africans and a trunk to Lakeview, Arkansas, U.S.A. Do they
charge by weight, shoe size or political affiliation? Maybe
you fellows should go on diets for a couple of months, then
buy tickets. What is the name of the travel agency? What is
your exact departure date and arrival? I cannot send money
until I know all of the particulars.
Mona is moaning at not receiving the promised
photos of Akeem. He is making a mistake by not following through.
Mona has a boyfriend here. His name is Iva Bigun and he's
pressing her to marry him and run away in his garbage truck.
I am weary of being here with this great sobbing lump of femininity
who is constantly complaining about promised pictures of her
'African Prince'...
-- Bruce Ferguson, Frustrated American"
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Sadly,
many Americans have been taken...
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"I'm ashamed to admit receiving one of these Nigerian emails
and sending them $100 for what they said was a Nigerian government
Secret Clearance which supposedly opened the way for a transfer
of $20 million into my bank account. What I rec'd was a download
filled with poor copies of official appearing documents and
a request for an additional $750 in 'bribe money' demanded
by a crooked government official. Thanks for writing "Shmoozing
the Nigerians." No telling how much you saved me."
--
Gary H****, Rawlins, Wyoming
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"My
dad was hoodwinked by Nigerian crooks. He still hasn't admitted
how much he has sent to them, but I know it was a lot. Your
book has opened his eyes and zipped up his wallet. Now they'll
have to find a new sucker."
-- Beverly M*******, Chicago
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Now
you can learn risk-free what the 419 scam is all about with
my new book, "Shmoozing the Nigerians," now
available as an easily downloadable e-book.
Enjoy 180 pages of the actual emails I exchanged with the likes
of...
• Paul Umgumwa, Pitiful Orphan
• Kuffour Nana, Administrative Manager, West Nigerian
Securities
• Dr. Daniel Soglo, Manager, Bill and Exchange,
Foreign Remittance Dept., African Development Bank
• Dr. Alex Usifo, Accountant Chief, The Dangote
Companies
• AND -- get this -- the ex-President of Liberia,
Mr. Charles Taylor |
If
you've ever been fooled by these faux financiers, you'll enjoy a
bit of vicarious revenge as I tease the teasers, deceive the deceivers
and draw them ever further down a back country road going nowhere...
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"I
thought I was alone until I read a review of 'Shmoozing
the Nigerians.' These guys have bugged me for over
two years. I bought your book. Now I know how to handle Nigerian
scam artists. Thanks!"
--
Daniel Donmyer, Medford, OR
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If
you've escaped being victimized, you'll get an inside look at the
minds and methods of the swindlers, and have fun doing it...
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Forty minutes later, I was still standing at the New Releases
display reading and holding my sides as I read passage after
passage of your hilarious exchange of emails with Nigerian conmen.
Your book ought to be required reading for everyone in the U.S.
Dept of State."
--
Walt Kotteman, Omaha, NE
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If
you can avoid snorting your Wheaties across the breakfast table,
share "Shmoozing..." with family and friends...
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"At
first it was a chuckle. Then, as I read more of your outrageous
exchange of emails with the Nigerians, I began to laugh out
loud. In trying to read a passage to my wife, who gave me
your book as a birthday present, I simply broke up. 'Shmoozing
the Nigerians' is the funniest piece of writing I've
seen since reading Catch 22 in college."
--
Bob Wilson, Tampa, FL
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And
of course, you'll want to hear about "Petunia"...
| "I've
received dozens of 419 scam emails, but it never dawned on me
to toy with these Nigerian shysters. What great fun. You had
the chutzpah to con the conmen, and did so with hilarious, homespun
Southern wit. Like 'Charlie,' the wiley old trout in the film
On Golden Pond, you baited the 'phishermen,' but
never let yourself get hooked. Shmoozing the Nigerians
is the funniest book I've read in a long while. Thanks for the
laughs, Bruce."
--
Gary Golden, Little Rock, AR
P.S.
I'm glad 'Petunia' didn't have to sleep with Mr. Umgumwa after
all, bless her razorback hide."
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Get "Shmoozing the Nigerians" today
-- for yourself or as a gift -- for just $9.97 (and don't
worry, I won't hit you up for more money later to bribe government
bureaucrats).
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ORDER NOW -- 90 DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE
I want all my readers to be happy customers. You
have my personal 90-day, 100% Money-Back Guarantee... just
ask and I'll refund your purchase price. And your credit card info
is completely safe -- I use ClickBank,
the highly reputable credit card processing company, to handle my
order processing.
To place your order now via secure server and get an IMMEDIATE
download of "Shmoozing the Nigerians," just click
on the Secure Order button below.
Enter a few details and you'll gain instant access to the page where
you download the e-book (PDF format only--sorry, WebTV users. PC
and Mac users will need Adobe Acrobat Reader, available for
FREE download by clicking HERE.)
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Use
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Thanks, and have fun Shmoozing the Nigerians,
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PS:
The e-book contains more images of the elaborate fake documents
the Nigerian scammers sent trying to convince me their stories were
legitimate. Pity they went to all that trouble for nothing, huh?
Poor dears.
PPS: Your questions and comments are welcome, just click
here to send me an email.
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